Say No to ‘Yes Men’

We may think we like ‘yes men’ and having someone who constantly agrees with us, but the worst two words leaders can hear on a regular basis is ‘you’re right’. It isn’t healthy. We see this on full display with politicians and celebrities. No matter how stupid their latest stunt is, they have surrounded themselves with people who don’t have enough courage to tell them the truth. Then they seem shocked when people outside their circle call them out. It can lead to disastrous and even deadly results and honestly, who wants an inner circle that allows us to do really stupid things? People who are insecure, that’s who. They need constant positive reinforcement.

I have always been one to challenge people and ideas in business. I worked for very large companies and I was sometimes branded as outspoken or too direct. I’m not certain that if I was a man if I would have been called that. I guess I could have sugar coated some of my opinions to appear less controversial and been more compliant, but I never wanted to waste my time beating around the mulberry bush. I never took it personally when someone challenged me and I thought others should be the same way. I learned over the years to temper it to attempt to achieve the same goal in a less straightforward manner. Says something about society that I had to do that. But so be it.

Stop listening to ourselves

As we know, dictatorships rarely end well for anyone but the dictator. And honestly, it doesn’t usually end well for them either. As leaders, we have to be willing to have people challenge us. No one is beyond being challenged. While back and forth collaboration can be hard, particularly when we are passionate about a cause, we have to be willing to listen to all sides. It means swallowing our pride and exposing ourselves and our ideas to criticism. It takes courage on all sides.  The key is to try and not take it personally. It’s about the cause, not us.

Herd mentality

We have a herd mentality problem. We surround ourselves (intentionally and unintentionally) with people who think like us. The internet has exacerbated the problem significantly. Algorithms on social media and in search engines serve up stories and information that fit a pattern that we have exhibited based on searches and likes. They reinforce our own opinions making us think that whatever we believe is right and true. But we can’t exist in an echo chamber, it’s not reality.

There are a million failed products and services that came to market after a lot of people in a company thought it was a great idea. Remember New Coke? Not every idea is a winner, but the more honest input we can generate up front, the less likely that a lot of time and effort will be wasted in the long run.

When a company hires people that all think alike, they may position it as having a specific culture. Let’s not confuse culture with singlemindedness.  That is why focus groups appeared along the way, to try and get outside opinions. The problem with focus groups is that they typically don’t take in people from all walks of life, various ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, and lifestyle preferences, etc. Even if they do, it is often such a small representation that they may be drowned out by the mainstream group.

We have to push out of our comfort zone

As we hire staff and create programs and services, the more opinions we get the more likely we are to create something that will appeal to all. That is why the efforts around diversity, equality and inclusion are so critical. It takes effort to get outside of our bubble. And we have to be prepared to push ourselves outside of the zone we have lived in so comfortably.

So somehow, we in the real estate and relocation industry, have to create an environment where people from all walks of life see an opportunity to work for us and with us. It will take work. Mentoring and internships and even scholarships are critical to foster those who might not typically even think there was a place here for them. It means listening to voices with a different perspective. We can no longer just be satisfied with those that only look and sound like us. The more voices we engage, the healthier our organizations will be. When need to embrace those who challenge our old way of thinking to make a better industry for all.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you aren’t saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~ Paulo Coelho, lyricist and author