Three Ways to Win a Negotiation (that you may not even know you are in)
I love to negotiate. I know, it’s weird. But I get a kick out of how people deal with negotiations. Some people are indignant, some get angry, some get emotional, some become submissive, and some get really creative. I first realized not only that I liked to negotiate, but that I was pretty good at it when I attended a week-long CEO Series at the Wharton School of Business sponsored by the company I worked for. I attended with about 100 coworkers in leadership from all over the country.
We had a variety of amazing speakers and professors who taught an array of leadership topics, and we performed group exercises to test how we responded in different scenarios. In one group exercise, I was paired with two company presidents. We were given some situations we had to negotiate, and I kicked both of their butts and negotiated the best deal out of all the teams. So I became interested in what it takes to achieve a successful outcome, why I felt like what I did seemed so obvious, and why they couldn’t see it.
If you are a parent, you are already a master negotiator. “Can I stay up 10 minutes later?” “Sure, if you pick up all of your toys before bed without complaining.” Win. Win.
Our end game in any negotiation is to get what we want and to satisfy all parties to a certain extent. Before you enter any negotiation, the key is not to get emotional no matter how the other person reacts, even if they try and provoke you. Understanding the position they are in is key to combatting any objection they might have so you can reason with them effectively. Choose the time of day carefully and always read the room and their body language.
With the real estate market as it is at the moment, every broker owner and leader is watching every penny. They want to cut expenses and increase ROI however they can. While it would be lovely if we didn’t have to play the negotiation game, it’s just the way it is. When we ask for anything or need resources right now, be prepared to negotiate. I think we have a bad habit of when we need something or to spend money, we ask a yes or no question to whoever is the decision maker. It’s super easy to dismiss someone with a ‘no.’ Then you find yourself in the defensive situation of asking why and trying to change your mind. The key is to keep ‘no’ from even being an option.
Consider every discussion where you need permission from your leadership, a negotiation.
Set your goals before you begin (pad them so you have some giveaways or trade-offs)
Determine your strategy to persuade the stakeholders
Clearly express what you want and why
Anticipate their objections and be empathic to them
Stick to the facts
Listen to key phrases and words they use and repeat them
Lay out what the rewards and benefits will be
Be willing to walk away or buy some time to let the other party think it over
To avoid the dreaded flat-out no, try these three things.
1. Make your request a presentation. I’m not talking about a long, elaborate, multi-paged diatribe. Instead, lay out what you and the company will glean if you are able to do whatever you are requesting. For example, if you want to attend a conference, lay out how much it will cost, who you will interact with, how much business you currently get from them, what new relationships you are going to develop, and what they stand to generate for the company. Have a strategy of who you will meet with, what sessions you will attend, and how what you will learn will help you in your business. Use value-creating strategies.
2. Give them a choice. A former CFO I worked with taught me this tactic. When you are trying to present a difficult change, give people a choice. Now is the time to use your allies. If you need a consensus from a group, speak to any allies ahead of time to get their buy-in. For example, if you need to increase the referral fees you charge, give the decision-makers a choice. Your leadership is more likely to choose one of the two than to say no outright. Make one of the choices more aggressive than the one you actually want. Human nature dictates they will choose the one you are set on as the lesser of two evils.
3. Try to satisfy all parties. Diagnose their barrier and determine what are the most likely concessions they will make. Know what your bottom line is that you want to get out of the discussion. Assume going in that you might not get everything you ask for, but by asking for more than you want or need, you are likely to come out with a win. Think about offering to do away with or modify an unpopular policy or expense in exchange for something much more important to you at this time.
Negotiation isn’t about yes or no; it’s about getting what we want and leaving the other party satisfied as well. By being sensitive to market conditions and not asking for superfluous expenditures, we can show our leadership that we are only asking for support on the most important issues where the reward is tangible, and the company benefits from the decision.
"Successful negotiation is not about getting to 'yes'; it's about mastering 'no' and understanding what the path to an agreement is." ~ Christopher Voss, American businessman, author, academic, and a former FBI hostage negotiator.
