Setting the Boundaries of Non-Negotiables

When I was managing a lot of people, sometimes I made the unfortunate assumption that people knew not to do stupid things at work. I assumed they wouldn’t be mean to one another, and I assumed they knew how to appropriately deal with conflict. That’s my bad.

As leaders, we must clearly state our non-negotiables. What are the things that may seem obvious but may not be to some? There is a reason attorneys will be eternally employed. People do dumb stuff.

HR typically has a giant document outlining employee dos and don’ts, that is acknowledged but often goes unread. As leaders, we owe it to those who look to us for leadership, to clearly set the tone for our group. Don’t wait for something to happen and then attempt to correct it. By defining non-negotiable behaviors, then there is a clear roadmap.

Don’t allow an employee to disrespect their coworkers

It may be as simple as outlining behaviors and responsibilities that directly affect their coworkers. For example, many years ago when I was running an internet lead call center, our phones went live at 7:00 am. This was back in the day when everyone physically had to come into the office to do their job. We would typically only have one person come in at that time and stagger the rest of them. I had one employee who was chronically late. Not just 5 or 10 minutes, I am talking 30-45 minutes late every day. They always had some random excuse. It was not only disrespectful to their coworkers who all managed to get there at our opening time, it looked bad since we posted our hours on our website, but no one responded to inquiries or answered the phone as promised. So instead of terminating the person, we did not put them on that shift. Not only was it unfair to their coworkers, but I was also enabling the behavior. We eventually parted ways, but I learned a valuable lesson. You can’t negatively impact your good employees based on one that can’t show respect for the non-negotiables.

Cheering on those that work hard and respect the mission not only builds loyalty, but it shows them that we are all in this together. While everyone is motivated differently, each person wants to feel supported and heard. If the non-negotiables are clearly outlined at the start of their employment and regularly reinforced, then when something goes sideways, it is very clear that what happened is not ok.

Dealing with bullies

As an example, years after the above incident, I had an employee anonymously make a vailed inappropriate comment on social media about a coworker without naming their name. For those that knew both of them, they knew what it meant. The situation was brought to my attention, and we terminated the person that day. Even though it was on their personal social media account, it directly impacted a coworker. The non-negotiable was that we don’t bully our coworkers, even on our own social media page.

People have become emboldened as they hide behind their computers. But as a leader, it’s ok to set boundaries that protect those who are in your duty of care. Have discussions with your staff about what you imagine as inappropriate conversations and how to deal with conflict. While an upset manager or agent may come at your staff, you can only guide your employee as to how to deal with the situation. It’s up to the company to handle those that aren’t under your responsibility.

Prepare them for the worst

While we never like to go to a dark place and think about all of the bad things that may happen, by doing that we can be prepared. Then when and if something happens, you have given them the tools to deal with it even if it means bringing in outside coaches to prepare them for any situation.

People often instinctively come down to the level of the person who is involved in the conflict. It’s easy to get baited into a screaming match or petty vindictive behavior. When given the tools to take the high road, it pretty much always leads to a win. But it takes nerves of steel to not allow that type of behavior to take over and control the interaction.

What are your non-negotiables? Don’t keep them a secret. By establishing the tone of behavior, you are establishing a culture that builds loyalty, respect, and pride.

“Culture is a way of coping with the world by defining it in detail.” ~ Sir Malcolm Bradbury,  English author and academic