I just wanted to tell you……

I had acquired a really bad habit of using the adverb ‘just’ in emails and speaking. For example, “I just wanted to reach out…” or “I just wanted to follow up….”. As per the dictionary definition of the adverb usage of ‘just’, I guess I was using it in the #4 meaning.

1.      exactly

2.      very recently; in the immediate past.

3.      barely; by a little.

4.      simply; only; no more than

But I heard a professional writer say that using it in that fashion diminishes the importance of what we are trying to convey and after thinking about it, I completely agree. Since the same English words can have so many meanings, we have to choose them carefully. Using ‘just’ not only limits the spectrum of the dialog, but it also seems to shut us off from further discussion. It seems quite final as if we want no further communication, we are just telling them what we want them to hear.

We can easily fall into speech and writing habits that are unnoticed by us but are observed loud and clear by the recipient. For example, a family member has a bad habit of starting sentences with, “yeah, no…..”. Two words that are completely contradictory to one another. They don’t even realize they are doing it. You can see why the listener might be confused by what they are trying to convey. By the way, that is a California thing that a lot of people do here. Not sure why.  This also goes for the overused and unnecessary word ‘like’. I have also heard people insert the words ‘or whatever’ in sentences. Those are throw-away words that clutter our message.

I also have a bad habit of when speaking of saying “right?” at the end of my sentences. I think it is a subconscious way of getting affirmation when I am speaking. I am working on dropping that.

The point of my story is that words matter. Whether they are subconscious or intended. We are fortunate to have Grammarly and spell check on our side when crafting written pieces. Whether we are trying to sell something or convince someone to use our service, we need to use scripting and practice our messages. I don’t mean reading from a script, but by studying phrases that represent the overall message, we can avoid having to think about choosing our words, because they will roll off of our tongue. We can also try and lose the ‘uh’ and ‘um’ problem that exists while we think as we speak.

Whether making a presentation in front of a room of people or having a phone conversation, having notes or a PowerPoint keeps us on track and keeps the message clear. I am not suggesting we write out every word, but having trigger notes and rehearsing our message keeps awkward pauses out of the dialog which can also be very distracting. Keeping our message clear with words chosen to motivate or inspire action and engagement will deliver the results we so desperately seek.

”Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” ~Rudyard Kipling, English journalist, short-story writer, poet, and novelist