Fate Doesn't Care About Your Plans
We can’t trust our lives to fate. And even more importantly, we can’t trust our career path to our employer. We have to create our own agency in life. As children, our thoughts and beliefs are initially molded by our parents, teachers, cultural, societal and environmental norms, and possibly religious preferences (often those of our parents). But as we get older and go out into the world on our own, we may be exposed to new ideas and thoughts and we have to begin to accept agency for ourselves. Agency may either be classified as unconscious, involuntary behavior, or purposeful goal directed activity (intentional action).
It’s up to us how we write our story. There are very few people who are predestined for a specific path. We can take a right or a left. While people with different backgrounds, disabilities, disadvantages, education, preferences, social status and ethnicities, may have more significant roadblocks, it is ultimately up to us the direction we want to take our lives. The path may be much harder for some. It’s not fate, we are directly responsible for our own actions. We may try and blame others or situations for our own actions and certainly others may have a strong influence, but it’s still ultimately on us how we react to it.
Even when we have a clear path in our mind, things my change course for various reasons. We may not even believe others when they tell us we can do something. One of the biggest roadblocks often exists in our own minds. The fear of failure is what allows fate to take over. Launching into the unknown makes us feel uncomfortable and there is the instinct to blame someone or something if we fail. We all need a healthier relationship with failure as long as it doesn’t prevent us from trying something new.
This has been top of mind for me as my daughter approaches her college graduation. What seemed to be a really clear path has become muddied for her due to the pandemic and her inability to secure an internship. She had envisioned her FBI internship leading her into open doors for a job. After all, very few kids her age can pass an aggressive background check that includes a lie detector test and multiple interviews. But when that was cancelled due to the pandemic along with virtually all internships, she felt adrift. None of this was her fault. So instead of sulking or blaming, she devised a new plan. Graduate school.
Once we have established, accidentally or with purpose, our agency in life, we must make sure we don’t lose ourselves under the corporate umbrella if we choose the corporate route. It’s our destiny, not theirs. Unless we work for a sole owner with 100% decision making control, our fate is often decided by committee or an org chart or shareholders or a budget or the economy. Make no mistake, while we may care for our coworkers and superiors like family, they are not our family. Corporations have a mission and while happy employees may be a part of that mission, they will do what they have to do which may mean layoffs, pay cuts, closures, whatever needs to happen to survive and thrive. It’s not personal. They may give you a baby shower, but it doesn’t mean they are happy about your maternity leave.
I encourage you to embrace your coworkers, employees and supervisors as your community, but make no mistake, when the things get tough, tough decisions are made. The path may be a straight one or be full of twists and turns but it should be your path, the one that makes sense for you. We have been conditioned to take the obvious path and veering off of that path takes courage or sometimes it just takes naivety, which is just fine. It is up to us to determine our agency in life and how we will react to the cruelty of fate. Recalibrate and forge onward!
“You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it” ~ Anonymous
